My favourite line:  "More recently the students brought us Facebook, and everybody has 100 friends; The parties and the photos look amazing. They're not so great but everyone pretends."

I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I've been shamed by this very thing in the past. I've had a quick browse on Facebook on a Monday morning, say, and seen photos of quasi-acquaintances having loads of fun at various events over the weekend. And I think back to my wild weekend that consisted of, oh, I don't know, getting photos printed at Kmart and (the highlight!) making poppadoms to go with Saturday night's vege curry, and I become envious of this person's obviously fabulous life. 

It took me while to realise that, yes, some of these people are genuinely having fun. You can tell when that's the case, because they'll post ugly photos with screwed up noses, crooked smiles and drunk eyes. But 90% of the time, the pix are staged; they're all doe eyes, clear skin and pouts or double-stacker smiles (when two rows of teeth fill the frame). Total PR shots. In reality, the party was a dud and I actually have nothing to be envious of, but the photos make it look spectacular!

I'm guilty as charged myself - I've posted plenty of "Look at us, we're having an AMAZING time!" photos in my Facebook career, when the night was actually pretty ho-hum. And you should see my current profile pic; I'm as heavily made up as a Miss America contestant, with styled hair and a fab frock. I snapped the photo before a night out in Vegas. As Ammidon asserts in the above song, "We try to self-promote without being caught"... 

So maybe that's my new goal: to post only genuine photos on Facebook. Either genuinely fun, or genuinely ugly. Wish me luck...